What happens in Vegas…

You’ve all heard the saying: What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Well this post is not about Las Vegas. (If that seriously disappoints you, this is your chance to log out)

It IS about what happens at school recess each day. Around the time I am getting back from my lunch break, my kids are all heading out to the grassy field behind their school for a much-needed recess. I like to picture them all laughing and running and kicking a ball as I settle back down to my computer.

But apparently my vision of what happens at recess is complete and total fantasy. Because last night, as I was laying on the bunk bed, chatting with my kids before bed, I asked, “What do you do at recess?”

I was not prepared to hear:

That Cate is one of three first graders who have been invited into an elite circle of fourth graders for a “dance-off” each afternoon. According to Cate (and verified by Thomas), the girls all gather in a circle, and sing (approximately) “Shake it girl, move it girl, do your thing girl! Now stop!” while a girl in the middle of the circle shows off her best dance moves. Then another girl rotates to the center.

This is my baby we are talking about! She is not supposed to have dance moves, much less be talking to fourth graders who say things like “shake it girl!” Did I also mention I wasn’t popular at all in school? So maybe this is completely normal behavior for elementary school girls and I just missed all that while I was busy being a geek.

Anyway, just as I was reeling from images of Cate as a future back up dancer in some music video only played after midnight on MTV (or do they even play music videos anymore?), Thomas chimes in with his recess story.

I was going to try to type it all out, but trust me, you don’t want to know the details. Just know that it involves a metaphor about a dying star (as in solar system) and somehow Thomas is the mediator (which, in case I wasn’t sure what he meant by that term, he was kind enough to define for me as: ” a cross between a lawyer and a police officer.” After his long-winded story I could only muster the strength to blurt out, “So do you have Any friends?” (which, I know, that was mean. But a dying star metaphor? And who likes the mediator on the playground?)

Finally, I was able to recover enough to ask Henry what he does during recess. Mind you, Cate is still humming her little dance tune at this point. Thomas is pleased he has been able to educate me, even just a little. And then, bless his completely normal little heart, Henry says, “Oh, I just like to swing or play on the monkey bars with my friend Sam.” One for three–I’ll take it!

And that, my friends, is why you never ask your kids what happens at recess.

Tonight’s question will be: So what really goes on at Grandma’s?


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3 responses to “What happens in Vegas…

  1. Oh God, you don’t want to know what happens at Grandma’s. I mean, I don’t know, but I assure you, I don’t want to know. I see the chocolate stains on C’s clothes when she comes home.

  2. Joshua=NES

    I just love your blogs. Now I know what NOT to go ask my children; I’d rather be blissfully in the dark and picture them as nice attentive children in class who play sweetly with their friends at recess.

  3. Cate’s just preparing for any future dance-offs that may occur on rainy nights in back alleys… I keep trying to tell you this.