Rock and Roller Derby

So I’m taking suggestions for my new Roller Derby name:

Katniss Everspeed


Christina the Crusher

That’s what I’ve come up with so far. Well, actually the last one is what John sent me in a text after my first skating practice. He followed his suggestion with, “Are you going to go beat people and drink beer after?” He’s was totally right about the beer. There’s just something about Roller Derby that requires a good beer afterward.

I need a name because right now my helmet is decidedly lacking without it, and I can hardly order one of those cool jackets our instructor wears (her name is Betty Boom, no lie),  if I don’t have a Roller Derby name. And let me just tell you how cool it would be to wear my jacket into West Sixth Brewery for our post skating beer. Much, much cooler than last night when I sauntered in wearing only my Under Armor leggings, a t-shirt and a layer of sweat and dirt that I gathered from the concrete floor of the warehouse where we practice.

Yep. I still felt like a total badass. I mean, it’s pretty hard not to when you put on knee pads, elbow pads, wrist pads, a mouth guard, a helmet and skates and then spend 2 hours diving headlong onto the floor on purpose.  You just sort of feel like you could take on the entire world. And look good doing it.

Natalie and I got really excited last night when we heard there might be fish net stockings and parade participation in our future. Natalie is the one who convinced me to join Derby Lite in the first place; of course she probably knows by now that it’s not hard to convince me to do anything after the fourth or fifth drink. (Ahem, which one of us convinced the other to crash that wedding reception at Henry Clay’s Home? Or was that the boys’ fault?)  Anyway, I joined up and went into the entire thing completely in the dark, having no idea what to expect.

The reality is amazing. As in The.Most.Fun.Ever.

This is saying a lot considering: a) I don’t really like to spend my evenings out of the house, b) I’m not usually a fan of groups of other girls (they totally scare me) and c) we practice in a freezing cold warehouse and you all know how I feel about hanging out anywhere less than 72 degrees.

But we get to skate! And do fancy-named things like Swizzle and Shalom. And last night we got to hold up numbers for each other while we practiced skating forward and spotting our partner behind us. We did suicide sprints where we combined all our elements and stops and it was just like basketball practice in the eleventh grade, except way, way, way better. And my very favorite part of it all is the part where we skate really fast and then actually dive head first onto the ground. On purpose.

The day after my first practice I honestly thought I had been in a car wreck and that every single bone in my body had been crushed. So that was a little learning experience on hydration, stretching and not drinking so many beers to celebrate afterward. Today, after last night’s practice, I feel much better and would totally strap on my skates and head to Champs if not for a few writing deadlines and the fact that I don’t think they open until school lets out for the day. (snap!)

So there you have it: the most fun you could ever hope to have, with cool people who have cool names and are really just regular girls like me looking to get a little exercise in a way that doesn’t seem like exercise. And no, we don’t throw each other down or throw punches and cuss at each other because this is Derby Lite. And because these are seriously classy girls who have never even thought about being in a fight in their life. But we do wear our hair in pigtail braids and travel as a gang into the brewery next door. We’re also looking for some punky brewster style socks to wear  and stickers to decorate our helmets once we pick out a name, because–you know–it’s Roller Derby. 

Here you go. Me in full gear, ready to roll

Here you go. Me in full gear, ready to roll

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

One response to “Rock and Roller Derby

  1. No guts, no glory. Enjoy!